Hockey… It’s all we’ve got

This moose will not hestitate to stomp you if you make fun of his face paint. He will then take you out for a beer to say sorry. Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons, with a little Canadian touch up.

We’ve all seen it, and most of us have done it. We put on our Team Canada jerseys, paint our faces, wave Canadian flags and banners with beer in hand and a moose elegantly seated in our laps. A full-size live one, none of those pansy stuffed things. Hockey fever sets in at every world tournament. With the Olympics once every four years, and on home turf this time, it’s at its highest peak.

Hockey is Canada.

We invented it, and we’re the best in the world. Gold is considered our birthright as Canadians, and to lose it sets our nation into deep mourning. Despite the sting of loss, it’s possible for the nation to put our collective toques back on, call the winning team a hoser, and get over it. As long as we don’t lose to the Americans.

There’s something about losing to the United States that as Canadians, we just can’t swallow. It’s more than a point of pride. Losing in hockey to the U.S. is like losing our identity as Canadians.

The United States is like the rebellious older brother of Canada. They overthrew Britain in a bloody battle to declare independence. Canada just asked politely. And while American foreign policy consists mainly of acting like a giant, stomping about a cornfield, we Canadians are careful not to step on anybody’s toes. We’re careful not to draw too much attention to ourselves as big brother goes about his business.

This works well for us. Canadians are considered friendly and well-mannered worldwide. American backpackers often

These guys are Canadian, are YOU? Photo courtesy Vancouver Access 2010.

wear Canadian flags on their backpacks because they’re treated better. A Canadian passport and flag goes a long way. Travelling from Paris, my Canadian passport got me through security quickly without any problems from the guards. They were actually quite nice, and helped me unload my bag properly. Not so for the Americans in front of me.

Still, we’re always comparing ourselves to the United States.

We watch more American television, listen to more American music, and our success as Canadians is based on our ability to succeed in the American market. No one hesitates to shout out the names of Canadian stars, except for maybe Celine Dion, who no one seems to want to take credit for. It’s a point of pride when a Canadian appears in a blockbuster film, or wins an Oscar or Grammy. Those are the true measures of success in Canadian show business, not Junos or Geminis.

As we become ever more dependent on the United States as a reference for success, and as our largest economic trading partner, this all leads to a loss of individuality. Many make the argument that Canada is just America Lite, even though we have better beer. We’re America’s little sister, quiet, shy, and not quite as good at things.

Hockey is the only thing that Canadians are sure of their superiority in. It’s more than just a game. We may not be able to sway international opinion, or beat the Americans at a game of political manoeuvring, but we can kick their butts at a game of hockey! To lose our own game is like losing the last bit of what makes us all Canadian, and it cuts deep.

So come on, Americans. Give us poor Canadians a break. Hockey is all we’ve got.

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Posted by Chelsea Stevens on Feb 24, 2010. Filed under Opinion, This Week's Edition. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.