Left Behind: Three women wait as soldiers head overseas

Chris King says goodbye to his son Josh and wife Rebecca before he leaves for Afghanistan.

Four-year-old Josh King holds his hand out to the glass wall separating the departure lounge from the rest of Fredericton airport. His father Chris raises his hand to meet Josh’s and they briefly share a moment before Chris turns to leave and board a plane.

He is heading to Petawawa, Ontario, and from there – Afghanistan.

“Bye bye Daddy, bye bye,” Josh says and waves as the plane taxis down the runway.

Beginning this month, five hundred members of the Canadian military will be deployed to Afghanistan from CFB Gagetown as a part of Canada’s ongoing mission in the Middle eastern country.

In 2010, the military remains a predominantly male profession, so more often than not it is girlfriends, fiancees, and wives who are left behind when the men head overseas.

From left to right: Chris and Rebecca King, Joanne McRae and Willis Ripley, Trisha Mowatt and Nathan Miller.

These women face their own set of challenges. Loneliness and fear are not the only emotions they will experience during the seven-month tour.

Chris is an LCIS Technician stationed at CFB Gagetown. His wife Rebecca is pregnant with their second child, due to be born six weeks after his deployment.

They are planning to name her Chloe.

In the weeks leading up to his deployment, Chris painted the nursery pink and assembled the crib. The morning he left, Chris said goodbye to an empty pink room with polka dots on the walls.

When he returns to New Brunswick for his leave in late August, Chloe will already be three months old.

Rebecca believes she is ready for the challenge of raising a newborn and a four-year-old without the help of a second pair of hands.

“I feel strong and proud. I did not think that I could do it on my own but I have shown myself that I am, and can do almost everything that I would rely on him for,”  she says.

Rebecca says she supports Chris’ decision to serve the military and go overseas, as his grandfathers did before him.

“My expectations for the tour are for him to serve his country, then to come home safely and healthy and to continue our life together and enjoy our family,” she says.

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The Gagetown Military Family Resource Centre is available to military families stationed at CFB Gagetown – one of the largest military bases in Canada.

The centre’s website says its mission is to “promote and facilitate community-based services that strengthen military families and communities.”

On Tuesday nights, wives and husbands of deployed soldiers can go to the centre for Coffee Night.

Rebecca says she will attend to have the opportunity to speak with women who are going through the same experience as her.

Other women have different ways to get through the deployment.

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Trisha Mowatt and Joanne McRae find comfort in the friendship they have developed since Trisha’s boyfriend Nathan Miller and Joanne’s fiance Willis Ripley deployed to Afghanistan in October 2009.

Both men serve as combat engineers, and Ripley is on his second tour. Because of this, Joanne is able to offer wisdom and advice to Trisha, who says she finds strength in knowing she has a friend who is going through it for a second time.

“This tour in some aspects was easier than the last one, I had more friends living close to me, and know some of the other girls who are experiencing the same thing,” Joanne says. “It gives us a nice outlet to talk to other people who are going through the same thing.”

McRae says it’s hard to compare the two tours, and isn’t sure whether she is coping better this time.

“At times I feel like I’m the strong and brave one to be able to continue my everyday life without him. Somedays I feel selfish and guilty for going out and enjoying time with my friends and enjoying my last year of university and having fun,” she says.

Trisha says she has been surprised by how well she has been doing since her boyfriend left in October.

“As a woman dealing with a deployment, I feel as if I have become superwoman. I actually feel great about myself,” she exclaims.”I have acquired an inner strength I never knew I had.”

Joanne adds that she likes to take it one day at a time.

“I know that doing this is not something any person can do, and a lot of days I amaze myself for how I deal with things, but there are still the days when I wake up and wonder how much longer I can deal with this.”

Trisha and Joanne both agree that passing the time is easier when they remember the pride they have for the boys serving their country.

“Most men have a difficult time leaving their family for a week for business and Willis has been able to take six months out of his own life to try and make the world a better place,” McRae says.

Next month, Willis and Nathan will return from active duty in Afghanistan. In the mean time, Joanne is planning her wedding to Willis, and Trisha is packing her things and preparing to move into her first home with Nathan.

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To hear more about Joanne and Willis, click below.

Click play to listen.

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Posted by Molly Cormier on Apr 18, 2010. Filed under Audio, Features. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.